Once Upon A Say What?
by jem-chan
Summary: hmmm... Towa finds himself in a tight predicament. He must find himself a partnerlover in thirteen days or suffer having to marry Princess Relena, the stuck-up princess of scales! Will he be able to find a lover within 13 days? Who will it be? :P


Hmmm… 7:22am Wednesday and I'm feeling this unbelievable boredom sinking in. Anyway, I was running through the Kaikan Phrase bit here in fanfiction.net and found The Rebel and The Prince [it's this Yuki-Sakuya fic written by jecht-shot-san] and just so I wouldn't end up babbling like a moron I would just say that, that fic inspired me to write this one.

This fic goes out to all the Kaikan Phrase fans out there and those who gave me wonderful reviews for Clipped Angel Wings.

This is going to be my first parody. I hope you guys like it. If you don't, please don't hesitate to burn me to ashes.

Note: Shounen-ai… as usual…

Pairing: As of now? I'm still soul searching! If you have any ideas… do share!!!

Disclaimers: Kaikan Phrase and its characters are not mine.

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- = Once Upon A… Say What? = -

Chapter One: It's A Hard Knock Life

By: scarlet bliss

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> The ocean seems to be a great place to live in even though humans are not meant to be in it.
> 
> Within its majestic azure depths, lie treasures that can enrapture a soul in a matter of seconds. The said wealth is laid down on a divine silk carpet of fine sand. But these things are of no comparison to the beauty and kindness that has been bestowed upon those creatures that were sired to oversee the physical and the unseen elements of the deep.
> 
> Beyond the surfboards and jet skis and the tiresome contraptions man has made along and on the beach, rests the kingdom of the stewards of the blue realm. Courted by the soft touches of the undersea current and masses of coral eggs that appeared to be like floating stars, Atalantia never seemed more alive.
> 
> Not so far from the east of the castle, the sound of full blown laughter has made itself known in hushed tones. The blue-haired merman crinkled his nose at the sight of the long stream of unmoving remnants on what must have been one of his young lord's ideas of having a good time.
> 
> "Prince Towa!" The royal subject called as he willed his lower fish tail body towards the direction of the spring of giggles and laughter. What he found beyond the lush forest of kelp stupefied and infuriated him at the same time. He advanced towards the culprit of the mess and irritation.
> 
> "Prince Towa!" He bellowed behind the unsuspecting victim. The blond merman turned hastily towards him, a startled look painted on his face.
> 
> "S-Sir Yuki! What are you doing here?" Towa stammered. Yuki fumed and moved towards the prince.
> 
> "Wait!" The blonde merman said and waited until the other stopped. "Don't you think I look pretty in this…? Umm… What's this thing called again? Oh yeah! Dress?" The prince queried with a sheepish smile and twirled to impress the man opposite him.
> 
> The other merman sighed and moved closer, took the prince's hand in his and started to move towards the palace. "Your father is demanding your presence at the palace at once. And take that damned thing off. You know it's forbidden to even touch things from the surface."
> 
> "But you haven't answered my question yet!" The young prince said and resisted the nobleman's movement to a stop. Yuki shook his head and mumbled, "Yes, you look pretty in that thing. The color red makes your skin look less pale. It works for you."
> 
> "Really Yuki?" The prince enthusiastically screamed at the other's right ear. The blue-haired patrician turned towards him showing him a good dose of his darkened face. The inconvenienced man raised his head a little bit to show his prey the mischievous smirk on his face.
> 
> "Yuki..? Come on! I was just kidding… Yu---…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! YUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!" The pitiful prince screamed as Sir Yuki, the fastest swimmer and right-hand of the royal family, undressed and dragged the prince and sped towards the castle.
> 
> A couple of minutes, an unmoving carcass of what used to be a red ball gown and a mutilated barf bag later, the two was inside the castle in front of a very, very angered yet handsome king.
> 
> "Thank you for accompanying Towa here, Sir Yuki." The raven-haired king said and eyed the slightly pale prince.
> 
> "It was my pleasure, King Sakuya." Yuki replied, bowed slightly and moved to the right hand side of the king's throne, leaving Towa, who's still catching his breath, in the center of the throne room.
> 
> "Towa." The prince winced and gulped, nervous at the type of tone his father is using.
> 
> "Yes, Father?"
> 
> "What can you tell me about the Tritians?" Towa's face showed total puzzlement from being asked such a question but sought an answer in his mind anyway.
> 
> "Tritians are the people of the ocean beyond. Atalantians have a lot in common with them in terms of art, literature and music. The only difference is that they have body structures that are unlike ours. Atalantians have upper bodies that resemble that of a human and a lower body that look like fish tails. Tritians, however, have body that is shaped like a human body but is covered with thick, tough scales. They al-…" The young prince had more to say only he was gestured by the king to stop.
> 
> "That would be enough. Thank you, Towa. As you very well know, Atalantia is at peace with the county Trita to have that peace shattered in unthinkable. Queen Aine of Trita has come up with a way that she believes would strengthen our tranquil relationship with them." The king explained, eyes starting to fail to look at Towa directly.
> 
> "That's great, but what does that have to do with me?" The dark-haired ruler left his chair and moved closer to Towa.
> 
> "It has everything to do with you son. Queen Aine wants you to marry her daughter Relena to strengthen our countries' alliance."
> 
> Towa felt like a fish out of the water. He gaped at the figure opposite him and bawled,
> 
> "YOU WANT ME TO MARRY THAT OLD HAG'S MONSTER DAUGHTER???!?!?!?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! I'M NOT MARRYING THAT STUCK UP, LOOK-AT-ME-OR-DIE PRINCESS OF SCALES!!! GAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST CUT MY HAIR AND COLOR IT AN UGLY SHADE OF GREEN WHILE YOU'RE AT IT?!"
> 
> The Atalantian castle shook from the intensity of the handsome prince's outraged cry and all the people inside the throne room, except for the equally handsome King Sakuya and the dashing Sir Yuki, scurried to find shelter.
> 
> King Sakuya shook his head in an irritated manner and looked at his still angered and blood-shot cheeked son.
> 
> "I told her you will not be submitted to such a thing if in or before the thirteenth day starting tomorrow you will be able to show us the person that you love and loves you back and is willing to marry you."
> 
> The calm waters of Atalantia were disturbed by an earth shattering scream.

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End of Chapter 1!!! I know, I know. Most of the characters have been a bit… cough out of character. Not to mention I slapped in Relena in this fic. Yup, Relena as in Relena "queen of the forsaken world" Peacecraft. Sorry! KP doesn't really have enough female characters for what I have in mind that can pass off as annoying little bitches. I'll update this one as soon as I get a go signal from you guys. Again, you're all more than welcome to flame me beyond redemption as punishment for rudely chastising Kaikan Phrase.

Additional Disclaimer: Relena of GWing is not mine. I wouldn't even dream of claiming her.

===tzuzuku===


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